Sunday, June 12, 2011

God Does William Wallace

I've never been a fan of Mel Gibson's, even before his drunken, anti-semitic, womanizing rants.  But I admit I do love the movie Braveheart, Mel's movie based on the life of Scotsman William Wallace.

One of my favorite scenes from the movie is the first battle in which William and his fellow countrymen must fight the invading British army. The Scots are outnumbered, out-weaponed, and don't appear to stand a chance.  But they show up, paint their faces, and after a rousing speech about freedom and country from Wallace, the battle begins.

The British fire arrows, then start an all-out charge, driving directly at the standing Scottish line.  Wallace raises his arm in the air and, as the line stands perfectly still, shouts, "HOLD!" The British continue to advance, Wallace again repeats, "HOLD!"  The Scotsmen shift their weight nervously and tighten their grip on their shields.  A few of them steal a sideways glance at their leader with worried eyes that say, "Really?  Are you SURE?"  Once more Wallace shouts, "HOLD!"

When it appears that the British are literally on top of them, Wallace yells, "NOW!" and the Scotsmen stoop down, drop their shields, and pick up long, sharp, crudely-made spears. The British, too close to stop or retreat, are immediately impaled.





Here's a quick look at the scene:



Intense stuff, huh?

I've been thinking a lot about William Wallace lately, and how God's been showing me His impression of the Scottish Warrior these days.  God's been telling me to "HOLD!" quite a bit. Let me explain:

Our home in Pennsylvania has been on the market for a full year now.  We actually thought we had a buyer very recently.  We agreed on a price, but they backed-out at the last minute. So, we're back to square one.  In the meantime, we're renting a home in Tennessee, waiting for the house to sell so we can buy something here.  I am aching to be settled into our own home, painting walls, hanging curtains, and working in the garden.  Instead, God tells me, "HOLD!"

There's also the issue of my "book." Last September, after Dad's funeral, I decided to gather the stories from my blog and compile them into book form, dedicating it to his memory.  I sent the completed manuscript to the independent publisher in October. She told me I'd have it by mid January.  I still don't.  Over the past eight (EIGHT!) months, when I email to inquire about the book's progress, she replies with a string of excuses about her busy schedule and health issues.  Once again, I'm told, "HOLD!"

Then there's the ever-present, foreboding, lymphoma.  In April, I learned my tumors have grown.  In November, I will be re-scanned to determine whether or not it's time to begin chemotherapy.  In the meantime, I try very hard not to think about November.  I down my daily doses of Curcumin (the latest herb that's supposed to shrink lymphoma tumors) and try not to finger the palpable lumps in my neck.  Beside that, there's really nothing else I can do until November.  Except, of course, to "HOLD!"

I've never been good at waiting.  Like Wallace's warriors, I stand in place, nervously weight-shifting, grasping my gardening tools, asking "Really?  Not YET?" But like those Scottish soldiers, I know I must trust my Leader.  His timing is perfect, even if it seems excruciating to me.

So, excuse me as I sigh, paint my face, throw on a kilt, and grab a spear.  I've got more holding to do...

17 comments:

CentFla said...

I would actually like to see you in a kilt. Another lovely post baby.

Rachel said...

Had to giggle at that first comment! :)

I love that when God tells us to "hold", sometimes it so that OTHER circumstances can happen to bless us... so we are right where we need to be for that time.

Praying that you experience those blesesings (and healing!) as you wait.

Linda Myers said...

I'm on hold today myself. I'm itching to move forward, but I know it's wiser to wait.

Shady Del Knight said...

I know the feeling, Joan. I've never been accused of being the world's most patient man. I like to get things done quickly and efficiently. If there's a problem I like to address it and get it resolved. I'm sorry you are on hold, waiting for a completion in three key areas of your life. Naturally the November scan is the most important of these unresolved matters. I know that you are like William Wallace, a braveheart and a resourceful fighter. You will emerge from this battle victorious!

Cats, Chancy, Mumsy said...

Praying for you and I know you will keep right on holding until you know it is time to move on. Just take it one day at a time and it will all fall in to place when it is the right time. Hugs

Eva Gallant said...

As my husband is meeting with the oncologist tomorrow to get his chemo schedule, I have a small inkling of what your are feeling. Let us hope that the cancer is on hold for you both.

Pastor Sharon said...

I've never been a good "wait" girl, myself.

The holding pattern to take off to land makes me nervous and neurotic. Whether it is actually in a plane, a work project, some personal healing, or goals.

Just wanted to let you know I hear you! And I am sending you hugs while you are waiting.

Amy said...

Hold is the theme of my life. I've moved in with my Grandmother to help care for her and my life is more on HOLD than ever. I hope everything works out well for you when the holding pattern is over.

blueviolet said...

I'd more than impatient at this point about the book, and your house...I'm so sorry!!! We went 9 months in that situation, so I can't even imagine passing the one-year mark. :(

Teresa Evangeline said...

While you're holding, and you're right, the timing is in the Leaders Knowing hands, stop checking the nodes to determine your well-being and see yourself as whole and healthy Now, see your perfect reflection Now.

What a great illustration for all of us to learn from. Thank You!

smedette said...

The holding can be the absolute worst. But if anyone can do it with grace, it's you.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I'm HOLDing the positive thoughts for everyone!

just call me jo said...

A delightful post! Oh, heck I hate HOLDING! There must be something to learn, but I prefer more direct ways. You always have humor, at least. Or at least for moments. I wish you speed in moving the HOLDing pattern out of your life as soon as possible.

ReformingGeek said...

I don't "hold" well, either. All I can do is find something else to sink my teeth into.

Sending hugs your way.

You might want to fire that publisher. Just sayin...

Good Luck with your home in PA.

jel said...

Dh loves that movie!

holding is hard!

huggs

dana said...

A lesson on HOLDING....it is never a short hold. Two years ago I found a house in Florida that I wanted...I had the money - then, but things went awry and I had to return to my home in Indiana. My book query got shot down by all agents, but they're shooting down my QUERY. I'm not good at queries, but I'm GREAT at story writing.

After a long winter, missing the house I lost out on buying, I had a nervous breakdown. THEN, when we returned to look (again) at THE house. . . the one next door was available and it made the ORIGINAL house look like a pumpkin shell.

What IF I had bought THAT house, then THIS one opened up? Aye yi yi!!!

So we moved and put my Indiana house for sale. It was purchased immediately, and I was waiting to sign the papers. . . . when a tornado hit it.

I rolled. I cried. I wrung my hands. I then found out I needed a special surgeon for my lymph gland removal: one that is NOT available in Florida. Only Indiana.

Here I am: new house of my dreams, and I can't even return home for surgery because my "home" is....uh....GONE.

Yes. HOLD is something that could go easier if it wasn't filled with complications and fear.

Anonymous said...

respect from Bulgaria !! William Wallace the breavest man !!

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