Monday, June 20, 2011

Joan Does Kindle

 "ALAAAAAN!!!"

This is what you will frequently hear if you are a fly on the wall in my home while I am sitting in front of my computer and it won't do what I'm telling it to do.  Rest assured, I have never, ever been accused of being a techno-wizard.  I fall more under the category of "Special" when it comes to all things computer, video, digital, and the like.

Fortunately for me, I am married to a computer genius.  Alan is able to fix just about any computer problem in a matter of seconds, and he can navigate his way around one with expert precision.  So, whenever I am sitting at my laptop and begin experiencing problems, you can hear the above, screechy call to my husband, imploring him to come save me from my technologically-challenged self.  He usually arrives and fixes the problem within seconds.  I thank him profusely, he sighs, pats me on my head and heads back to his office.

So, imagine my reaction when Alan recently suggested that I try out a Kindle.  Kindles are e-books, sold by Amazon, that allow you to instantly download dozens of books, newspapers, or magazines in a matter of minutes.  Since I am an avid reader, Alan thought it was something I could use.  I think I replied with something like "Oh, hell no."

I resisted, mostly because I'm one of those crotchety old people who talk about how much they love to "turn the page" rather than hit the "next" button.  But I also feared the technology of the thing.  It looked dangerous, quite frankly.

But when I saw one in the store recently and was able to hold it in my hands, I have to admit I really liked the lightness of it, as well as the cute, decorative covers that actually made it FEEL like I was reading a book.  Hesitantly, I told Alan I was onboard.

When my Kindle arrived in the mail, I quickly handed it to my smart, computer savvy husband.  He dutifully accepted it (I think he likes to play with these kind of new toys, anyway!), and immediately began the process of getting me registered and ready to go.

He gave it back just a few minutes later telling me, "You're all set!"  and showed me how to access the online bookstore to make my selection.  The store was set up in Alan's Amazon.com account, but he told me we could switch that later.

Since I'm pretty caught-up on all my favorite authors, I decided to do a massive search. This time of year, less than a month before our Key West vacation, I love to listen to Jimmy Buffet and read "beach books" to get me in the mood for our trip.  So, I did a quick "Key West fiction" search.  Within seconds, hundreds of titles emerged.  I clicked on the first one, which was labeled,  "Key West."  Hmm.  Sounds perfect.  The screen was too small to make out the actual cover, so I clicked on what I thought was "description."  Apparently, I had inadvertently hit "reviews."  Rather than scream for my husband again, I decided to just read those instead.  They said things like, "Four stars!"  "LOVED the surprise ending!" and "I now want to read EVERYTHING by this author!"

Well, that was good enough for me.  I hit "download" and within less than a minute, my book "arrived" on my screen!  Hooray for modern times!

I read the first sentence (LITERALLY, the FIRST sentence) and performed an audible gasp. Then I decided to go back and check the "description" like I should have done in the first place. That's when it hit me.  I had just downloaded my first book, on my brand new Kindle.  And it was erotic fiction.

But, you know, being somewhat of an author myself, I felt it was only fair that I read a fellow writer's work.  I mean, I'd want HER to do the same if she accidentally downloaded something from my blog.  It's the courteous thing to do, people!  Besides, I'm a sucker for a "surprise ending!"

So I read it.  It was really, really "interesting."  But I must admit, the ending WAS surprising.  I did NOT see that coming!

Here's the fun clincher to this pathetic tale:  You know how Amazon, once you've purchased a particular book, will then send follow-up, "If you liked THAT book, we recommend THESE titles as well" emails?  Yeah.  Alan's been getting LOTS of "suggestions" for potential reading material on his Amazon account!  Because he is awesome and (thankfully) has a great sense of humor, instead of being angry with me, he just reads me the titles of the suggested books.  We've had a GREAT time pouring over THOSE!

So, in conclusion, I must tell you that this technologically challenged old biddy really DOES approve of her new Kindle.  Since that original debacle, I have actually learned how to effectively search for (and read the descriptions of) more appropriate reading material.  I am really enjoying it.

Although I'll never look at Key West the same way again...

Thanks for Reading!!

25 comments:

Shady Del Knight said...

I can relate to this, Joan, because I am a "special needs" computer operator myself. I don't suppose Alan would mind flying down to Tampa the next time I get stuck in cyber mud? I know a couple of Kindle owners who swear by them (rather than at them) and so it appears that electronic readers like these are here to stay. I just hope (for Dunder Mifflin's sake) that they never stop producing books the old fashioned way. Have a great week, Joanie!

Brett Trescott Warren said...

Hey Joan, Great story! My husband bought me a Nook. He was tired of building me bookshelves. I have "issues" getting rid of books I have read. I LOVE my Nook. Now that I no longer have to worry about where the the latest stack of books will go I am reading so much more. Thank goodness so many Nook books are inexpensive or another "issue" would be looming soon I'm sure.

PS-So who was the author of that Key West book???

Anonymous said...

We've been debating buying Nooks. The problem is Lenny and I each buy books and then lend them to each other and I seldom get a borrowed book read in 2 weeks, which is the limit as I understand it, to lend a book to another Nook.

We also noted that a book we want is only $1 cheaper on the Nook than in hard back! - Charlene

CentFla said...

Shady, a trip to Tampa sounds awesome! I'll do it (oh, this is Alan!)

That was well told honey!

Kathy B said...

Hysterical! You need to leave a comment with a sampling of the titles Amazon is "suggesting." HA!

ReformingGeek said...

Hee Hee.

Glad you're enjoying your Kindle!

**adds Key West to her reading list**

Hee Hee.

Linda Myers said...

I love my Kindle. Haven't ever downloaded erotic fiction, though!

Amy said...

hahaha! That's a great story...love it :)

Looking for Blue Sky said...

That put a smile on my face this morning :) We have the iPad here, but I still haven't downloaded any ebooks - can someone tell me why it's still cheaper to buy a paper copy?

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I believe I will be the last person standing with a book in hand or at the library.
No Kindle for me! I am that crotchity old lady.
:-)

Eva Gallant said...

I'm holding out on the Kindle, too. It seems expensive to me..paying for the Kindle, and then paying for books you want on top of that.

blueviolet said...

It's cracking me up that he's getting suggestions from your erotic book! lol

I have a Nook and I do like that, but I'll always do a combo of paper and e-reader, I think.

Rachel said...

You are a hoot and a holler! I love that he's now getting those suggestions and being a good sport about it!

Shan said...

You know how people say they LOL'd? Reading this... I'm just glad I didn't wake up Fynn. Oh my gosh that's hilarious.

Here's a link to a website that *should* be a bit more helpful in making your selections: http://www.whatshouldireadnext.com/

:+)

Richard Horan said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Check out Project Gutenberg for public domain books for free. I don't think they have your porno books, but you can read alot of classics.

Cheeseboy said...

I have been thinking of getting my wife one of these for her birthday, but I am afraid that she would be upset about having to buy books. She is used to getting them at the library for free.

Red Shoes said...

How are you liking the Kindle?

I still like having the hard copy book in my hands... I like to write in the margins... :o)

How are YOU doing, sweetie?

~shoes~

RO said...

Is your husband cloneable?? Because my cat just will not cooperate with helping me techy wise. *sigh*

smedette said...

HAHAHAHA! I probably would have had the same reaction as you! Good for you for reading the entire book, though; don't think I could have done it.

I've been really hesitant about getting an e-reader, just because I love books so much. But, I admit, sometimes I think having one would be so convenient.

Kellyansapansa said...

"I did NOT see that coming!" Pun intended?

I've tried reading books on the iPad but really don't like it. In fact, I don't even like the iPad!

suenosdeuomi said...

Really hilarious, thanks for sharing. I envy you your husband, only as regards technological help at one's finger tips. I am very intrigued with those devises and appreciate hearing your approval. Eventually I hope to have an iPad that ought to do same but on Mac technology.

Lindzena said...

Oh my goodness that made me laugh so hard! And you aren't 'crochety' for wanting to have a page to turn - ha I'm 22 years old and I feel the same way. I'm glad you're getting the hang of it!

Kakka said...

Well that bought a smile to my face, I use my iPad to read, but still like to buy real books of my favourite authors. There is nothing like turning a page, but the e-books are easier to carry around when travelling, that's for sure. xxx

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Kold_Kadavr_flatliner, sub/dude said...

Halleluia, toots! Should I pat my own self on me back, my jolly liege, or does it matter? tok2me Nevertheless, I wanna givest thee a proposition, miss gorgeous, mmk? Seeing as I'm a Catholic christian and God loves everyone (He doesn't approve of their actions sometimes, but nevertheless, He still loves'm), would it be groovy to kiss you and love you in Heaven?? Meet me Upstairs, puh-leeze --- Can't Almighty God do anything for His faithfull? What was the universe created BY?? Love make'n!! Hear Ye! O hear ye!! Wanna get inside my pants to see my overly, huge thighs? Wanna love me, your faithful servant, a student/teacher relationship as we nekk? Wanna lemme kiss your adorable feets, as I feed you baklava and Starbuxx with deliciousNnutritious cherries from Heaven? Wanna lemme take a shower with you and after slow dance to Mozart or Beethoven while caressing you withe feather duster? Not here, not now, but soon. Lookit 'MySoulAccomplishment' first, an effusive, yummy story I wrote yeeers ago about love make’n in Heaven. And, yes, if we have the desire, anything is possible Upstairs. So believe in the Great Beyond, girly, and you SHALL be rewarded in The End --- Won't that be a blastNaHalf?? God bless you.

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